So, I have come to an impasse. What do I want to write about? I had a whole speech in defense of something that was said about me but that seems pretty self-centered now. What I will focus on is how annoyed I am at “those” people that cannot be honest about shortcomings and choose to shine a spotlight on other people's shortcomings. Does that make sense? At the moment I am really peeved and my brain is working much faster than my fingers. What I mean to say is, it seems as though there are people in the world that use other's shortcomings as ammo. Ok, here is the deal. Unfortunately, I am one of those people that talks a lot and I end up becoming an open book. There is very little that my friends do not know about me and that is fine with me. Now, I don't necessarily share info with my friends so they will sling it back at me some day in a pathetic attempt to make themselves feel better about their lives.
I am speaking about “those” perpetually “happy” people that aren't really happy, they just want everyone to believe they are happy. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people in the world that are happy but let's face it, we all have our dark days. We all have issues in our lives. We all have days when our spouse is REALLY annoying and our kids make us want to run and hide. Does that make us awful people? No, it makes us human. It is also human to confide those feelings to our friends. Notice I said confide...not make a bullet out of it and fire it back at me via another person. Ugh! This would probably have been easier if I wrote about what happened but I can't do that.
I guess my feelings are hurt and I am having a hard time letting go of the crap. I know that I should. I know that I should pray for the person that was shooting at me because they have some issues that really need prayer, especially when that pedestal they are standing on gets knocked down. I know that I will get to that point but it is not going to be today. Enough of this. My brain is sad and tired and I need to bake so cookies. That is of course if I don't eat all the batter first.
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3 comments:
Can't do cookie dough- it's all grainy and yet squishy at the same time. It wants to be smooth, but it grits inbetween your teeth. Blech! I have however consumed a half a pound of Swiss cheese and a hand full of double-stuffed Oreos. So to each her own, hm?
Aside from the raw dough consumption thing we are very much a like- the life as an open book thing. The I feel therefore I speak thing. It's the way we have been hardwired. So much emotion flows through us (and by us I don't mean just you and me, it's a chick thing) it must run out somewhere otherwise our brains would burst and Joseph would come home from school one day to find you in the corner, humming tunelessly while twirling your hair around and around and drooling on yourself, stopping only to giggle at some unseen thing...
Anyway! This over abundance of emo is the reason we cry so much too. Cry when we're happy, sad, angry, frustrated, pick an emotion! So kvetch and cry, kvetch and cry. I like to think of these two activities as pressure release valves. They're there for the good, really. So it's particularly sucky when those tools are used for evil.
I'm sorry about the "slinging" dear one. Don't let others get your panties in bunch for being who you are. God made you to be a pretty amazing creature- don't forget it.
If men are the face of a warrior God then women are His beauty. If men are God in motion then women are God at rest. You don't have to do or not do anything to be that. You are beautiful, your spirit, soul, pressence, because it is who you are, what you are. Your birthright. So remember that, revel in it, let it soothe your bruised heart. Ooooo, got all Eldridge on you there, sorry.
Well that's my take on it. If contemplating your beautiful personhood doesn't calm your soul and allow it to find it's naturally resting sphere you can always try punching said butthead. Physical violence is another release valve, but maybe that's another way in which we're different. ;)
Smooch your beauty.
-B
I think you should just sic Elizabeth on said butthead ;)Please? And can I watch?
I echo all of Beth's post.
You are 37-years beautiful, kind, funny, smart, and BELOVED by the God of the universe. Anyone who wants to take on your Creator Himself and tell Him otherwise about you better get ready to do some serious kneeling and confessing.
So, if God's not buying the ugly, neither must you. Banish it out with His love, and get back to hearing what God really thinks about you.
And to the cookie dough, and a hug from me ;)
Yeah, the whole "happy shiny" veneer has long lost its luster for me. It's really tiring, too, and the point invariably comes when a person has to realize that we weren't put on this earth to be happy. There is such a thing as joy, but it springs from Something Else, and it's not the same thing, just as faith is not the same thing as intellectual assent or self-delusion.
Life is often crap. "Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something," as the wise masked man said.
But hey, you already know all this; I'm just in a mood to commiserate. You're a strong woman, a loving mother, a teacher, and wholly committed to your Savior. And from what I've seen and read of you, you have the eyes of a realist.
And people are blockheads sometimes. Hopefully they'll figure it out.
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