Merry Christmas to all...

It is that time of year, the time when you sit and reflect not only on the past year but your life in general.

Michael's loss of a dear friend and the terminal illness of my grandmother have made me think a lot this particular Christmas season. I have thought about those "things" I keep forgetting to say to loved ones. I have thought about those friends that I don't keep in touch with. I have thought about the people that God has brought into my life. I am so blessed to have had such amazing people wander in and out of my life. I am blessed to have a child that is so awesome I often wonder how God could be so gracious as to put him in my life. I am blessed to have a wonderful, understanding, patient, loving husband/friend. I am blessed to have friends that have stayed with me through thick and really, really thin. I am blessed to have a loving and stable extended family. I am blessed with parents that have become friends. I am blessed with not only a roof over my head, but a warm "home". Most of all, I am blessed to have a relationship with the Lord.

My wish for you all is simple...I wish you the merriest of holiday seasons and hope you and your loved ones are well and happy this Christmas!!!

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas!!

YEAH!!!!! Today was my last day of student teaching. There were days that seemed to go on forever but the fourteen weeks really just flew by! Both of my master teachers were amazing and this was a great experience. Now, if I could just get paid I'd be in heaven.

I spent Thursday at LGE making candy trains with Nancy. I love that school and all of the teachers. I never laugh as hard as I do when I'm with Nancy and Janet. I would kill to get a position at there. I loved making the candy trains...maybe because I've only done it once and the other teachers have done it 15 times. The kids were so great and I knew that I missed them but didn't know how much until I got 30 hugs, 3 Christmas cards, and an ornament. Those kids are so neat. Our kids were really good with the trains...Janet's class, on the other hand, was creating train massacres with dead Santas and gummi bears. Nancy said it never occurred to her to warn her class against doing that...go figure. Despite some slimy icing and rebelling moms, it was one of the best days.

Off to buy a tree...

Brighter Days

Ok, I'm getting over feeling sorry for myself and things seem to be sailing right along these days. I only have one more day of class and all we are doing is going out to eat. YEAH! I'm working on my final project and that should be done by the 19th. My last day of student teaching is on the 15th and I will have three precious weeks off for the first time in 17 years. I have a ton of projects planned and I am just looking forward to spending time with Kath and my family. Whew! I can't believe that it's almost over! Thank you all for your love, support, and unfailing belief!

Kath, I got you on this one. So I wasn't eating chocolate while watching a weight-loss show but I did spend this morning drinking coffee and eating gummi bears and peanut m&m's while switching between "Davey and Goliath" and "Little House on the Prairie". Can you tell Tim is gone for his reserve weekend?

Did you ever feel so far away from God that you think you couldn’t get any further away? I feel like I have always believed that God would provide but I am having a hard time with that one at this moment. This is the first time in 17 years that I am not bringing in a pay check. Not sure how to deal with that. I was alright at first but the longer it goes on, the worse I deal with it. I know that I want to teach and I know that I love the kids but I hate not getting paid. I know that student teaching was the right choice for me but I hate feeling like I am not contributing to the family income. Tim hasn’t said a word so I know that it’s my ego pulling me in the wrong direction. It seems like everything I do, say, and feel is so ugly these days and that really bothers me.

Working towards being a teacher is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I’m not used to having to jump through so many hoops to do what I need to do. I didn’t do very well on my last project and I have to go in for counseling with one of the professors. I have no idea what I did wrong and they don’t seem to be in too much of a hurry to help me fix what I messed up. Frustrating…more frustrating that I pay them a butt-load of money and they don’t seem to feel the need to return phone messages or emails in a timely manner. The problem with all of this you ask…I can’t apply for my credential until I fix the project. UGH!

Next, I have yet another test to take. I don’t have the energy or the desire to open the book to study and that is a problem because the test is on Saturday. Ok, so I passed all of my other tests on the first try and with very little studying but this just feels different. I have always been fairly lucky with this type of stuff and have been able to go through life getting what I want with what feels like very little effort. These hoops are really working me over and I realized just how spoiled I really am. Again, ego pulling me farther are farther away from what I know is right.

I have one last project due in two weeks and I don’t want to start it until I know what I did wrong on the last one. Lame? I think so too. I really should get started and stop saving this stuff until the last minute but the desire is disappearing. Nancy and Tony gave me a book titled, "Grace for the Moment' by Max Lucado, and I just can’t seem to open it. I don’t feel very deserving of His grace right now. I feel selfish and ugly and whiny! Bigger UGH!

My turn on the soap box!

Ok, so my first thought was to reply to Christina's post about stupid, gossiping people but I decided that I had way too much to say to put it in a response, so here goes!

What ever happened to parental responsibility? Those moms that Christina saw at the soccer game probably think that there is too much homework because it conflicts with soccer practice, nail appointments, weekday church functions, play dates, shopping, etc. I can't tell you how many parents I have run into, in just the last couple of months of being a teacher, that are upset by homework because it conflicts with their own schooling. Give me a break! Do you want your kids to succeed or do you want them to be a complete and utter failure? If you want them to succeed and be an asset to society, they need to be your first priority! Homework, if given for the right reasons and checked over by parents, serves a very valuable purpose. They had homework as children and our children's children will have homework. That's how school works. Most teachers don't give actual "homework" much anymore anyway. Most of the homework is classwork that the student did not complete becuase they did not use their time wisely in the first place.

Now, for the test scores at the school they were talking about...They don't know what they are talking about and they don't have any idea what happened with the test scores. Most of the teachers at that school are amazing and care a ton about the students and their jobs. They are only gossiping and we all know where that leads. With the second year of school improvement, they are welcome to send their children to a different school and yes, the district does have to pay for it. But, lets face it, if these parents don't want to deal with homework, they are not going to want to deal with their children being bussed to another school in a different city. They don't have the follow through to help with school work so they will not follow through with their threats to pull their children. Not to mention, the minute they tell their children that they have to leave their friends and teacher and move to a different school, things at home will not be pretty. They are welcome to send them to a private school. Many private schools are expensive and require much more parental involvement than public schools. Let's not even talk about the fact the you don't need a credential to teach in most private schools. Go for it laides!

Ok, back to parental responsibility...We teachers only have the kids for six hours a day and those six hours includes recess or recesses and lunch. Who is responsible for the other 18 hours in the day? Some parents feel that learning should only happen at school. Ok, but I have 29 other students. I don't have the time to work with each student individually on the math facts they should already know by fifth grade. What are parents doing with the rest of the day? Working? Ok, I will give them that but I was a single mom and Christina is a single mom and neither of us believe that teachers are the only people responsible for our children's learning, grades, and success. Sadly, we are not the majority. I am willing to bet the paycheck that I would be getting if I got paid for student teaching that Christina never puts her homework before the welfare of her children. I'm thinking that she does Donovan's homework and saves hers for after the kids go to bed. Just the way Michael puts his kids before his grading. That's what parents do. Why have kids if you want the schools to raise them? That's a whole other soap box topic.

Ok, I think I'm done...you can stop laughign Kath!

Sad songs, they say so much...

What a pain in the rear! I just wrote this whole bolg, forgot to save, and lost the whole thing. It was actually lucid and funny. UGH!

I'm sad! Tomorrow is my last day at LGE and I REALLY don't want to leave. I can't believe how weepy I am about not being able to talk and giggle with Nancy and Janet. The teacher's and staff are amazing and extremely supportive. They took me in and treated me like I was one of the gang. I get teary every time I thing about leaving.

We went to the Living Desert yesterday and I had a great time. Ok, so the bus ride with 75 kids was a little unnerving but the place is beautiful. With Paul Bunyan being 15 I forgot what it was like to watch kids get excited about a baby giraffe. The kids were more fun to watch than the animals. I knew that I would love this job, but I had not idea how much I would miss it when it was time to go. BIG CROCODILE TEARS!

My next assignment is LAE in first grade. I'm not sure how I feel about LAE or first grade. One thing I know for sure...no more SSR for thirty minutes. Oh, the other thing I know...lots of crying. I might just implode or maybe I will just do some serious praying.

By the way, I miss you too Kath! I miss our Sundays. Paul Bunyan wont sing and he doesn't giggle. I miss our chocolate chip scones. I had one the other day and it just wasn't the same. Sorry to spit this out but you know what a crummy friend I am anyway. :)

Enough bellyachin'!

...and down will come Holly...

Today the happy Holly was replaced by the sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, not sleeping better, not feeling better, want to puke my brains out Holly. What fun this is...They warned me that this would happen once I entered the land of germs-a-plenty. It takes you getting sick to really watch what those little buggers do and touch once they cough and sneeze all over their little, fifth-grade hands...precious! Nancy being the teacher/mom sent me home so I'm pretty sure the guilt I feel about leaving early will kill me faster than being sick. Ok, pity party is over...at least I didn't have to travel feeling like this...sorry Kath!

I'm trying to get over the pity thing I've got going on right now. Pastor Dave's sermon on Sunday worked wonders for beating that out of me. He read us a letter written by a church member, teacher, and all-around wonderful person that passed away last week. I didn't know her but the legacy she left behind speaks volumes. The small passage he read was so powerful that it was one of those moments where I realized how blessed my life really is and I need to stop whining!

Medicated and off to bed!

Um

Ok, here goes my first attempt at this blogging thing. Kathie thinks this is a good way for all of us to keep up with each other's lives. I agree so we will see how this all works out. I do enjoy reading all of the other blogs and I have learned a great deal about my friends.

My blog will, most likely, be about my current career change to teaching. The kids do seem to provide hours of entertainment. I have found that even with that being true, their parents are even more entertaining, infuriating but entertaining none the less.

Here goes...

How much do I love this teaching thing? It is absolutely amazing. I have never had a job that made me so happy. Even Joseph says I am more fun to be around these days. I even get up early in the morning so I can get to school and not be rushed. As most of you know, that would never have happened at the Conference Center. As a matter of fact, I was generally late to work because it was such a toxic place to work, but that will be another post some day when I am not so bitter!

My class is amazing and Nancy (Slusser), my master teacher, is so fun to work with. The teachers at the school are all really supportive and willing to share their years of knowledge. My dream at the moment is to end up working at this school. I don't even mind the drive to Lake Gregory. How many other schools have a lake view? None is the answer to that question. Now, if I could just be done with the credential part of all of this, life would be just about perfect.

Enough for now!